According to a Department of Homeland Security list, you might be a domestic terrorist if...
you exhibit the following:
* Expressions of libertarian philosophies (statements, bumper stickers)
* Second Amendment-oriented views (NRA or gun club membership, holding a CCW permit)
* Survivalist literature (fictional books such as "Patriots" and "One Second After" are mentioned by name)
* Self-sufficiency (stockpiling food, ammo, hand tools, medical supplies)
* Fear of economic collapse (buying gold and barter items)
* Religious views concerning the book of Revelation (apocalypse, anti-Christ)
* Expressed fears of Big Brother or big government
* Homeschooling
* Declarations of Constitutional rights and civil liberties
* Belief in a New World Order conspiracy
According to Those Who Know, "People engaged in the above activities or mind-set may be considered "extremists" or "militia groups" that exist in our communities and are "hiding in plain sight, ready to attack."
Quick, hide your Ron Paul bumper stickers and Left Behind series. Also please refrain from declaring your constitutional rights, religious views, distrust of government and for heaven's sake enroll your children in public school.
Nothing like a healthy dose of paranoia to wake you up in the morning.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Designer Interview: Jocole Designs
Tonight I'm happy to bring you an interview with a very talented designer-- and mom-- who is using her gifts to raise her family and make the sewing world more interesting at the same time. You've heard me reference her a few times in the Easter dress posts, so it's about time I introduced you to the lady I've been blathering on about and also time I clue you in as to why I think she's so cool.
Who she is: Jodi Jean, aka Jocole
Where you can find her: her website, Etsy store, blog, and Facebook page
What she has to say:
Q) Tell us a little more about you and how you got started designing
A)I’ve been designing clothing since for as long as I can remember … if you go back through my notes from high school you’ll find sketches in all the margins and I have a plethora of notebooks just filled with sketches waiting to become a reality. I pursued designing in college at Brigham Young University – Idaho where I majored in fashion design. After college I worked as a patternmaker for a bathing suit manufacturer and then a modest prom dress manufacturer. Now I’m married and staying at home and taking care of my three crazy crazy kids. My pattern collection stemmed from my need to be creative while staying at home.
Q. What is your design philosophy or aesthetic? What are you hoping people will "get" when they see your work?
A) My design philosophy definitely involves easy to wear pieces that can be dressed up or worn everyday, I adore versatility. I hope people see my patterns and want to make things with them and use them over and over.
Q) What inspires you? Design? Fabric? Your adorable kids?
A) My kids definitely inspire the pattern collection – I sew for them and the clothing that I would like to see them wear.
Q) Give us a peek into your creative process. What goes into producing a new JoCole design?
A) All my patterns start with a sketch which is then hand-drafted into a full size pattern. A sample is sewn and I fit it and make changes/tweak if necessary – I make sure to take detailed pictures of each step during the sewing process to add to the sewing instructions. Back to pattern making to draft the pattern into all the different sizes. I then trace the multi-sized pattern onto my pattern grid paper. The grids are then scanned and then I use a graphics editor program to draw the crisp clean digital lines over my hand-drawn lines which are then erased. The image files are then turned into a pdf pattern. Picture editing of the step by step and model photos. I then type up the detailed sewing instructions and add LOTS and LOTS of pictures which is then turned into a pdf file. The pattern pdf and instruction pdfs are merged into one file and sent to my pattern testers who test how well the instructions are written and how well the different sizes fit. I use people who are seasoned seamstresses and novices who are just learning so I know that anyone will be able to use my patterns.
Q) And how do you do that with kids, I'd like to know....
A) Let me tell you this is probably just as hard as you would imagine. My kids are LITTLE … my son just turned 4, my daughter is 2.5 and I have a baby girl who just turned 1 (oh and I’m pregnant again with another girl, due to arrive in the beginning of July). Their playroom is right next to my studio so they play in there or in the backyard and interrupt me constantly. If I’m on the computer we’re in the living room and they are playing while I’m editing photos or typing. It’s always a little bit chaotic, but I wouldn’t have it any other way … I LOVE being able to work and be home with them. I don’t mind stopping the sewing to read a book.
Q) Your Etsy store offers everything from practical playclothes to pretty dresses-- you even remember the boys! Was this wide range of designs intentional or just a happy creative accident?
A) I definitely try to have a wide range of clothing. There are a couple boy things because I have a son and I like to make him things … but there should be more boy things but I have girls on my brain and he is outnumbered.
Q) The pattern design competition on Etsy is getting fierce. What do you think your patterns offer that sets you apart from other designers?
A) It is definitely getting fierce, when I started there was just a handful of us. I try to look and see what patterns they are offering and do something different while staying true to my design aesthetic. There are enough knot-dress patterns out there I promise you won’t see one in my shop.
Q) My personal favorite (so far) of your designs is the Circle Flounce Dress. It is simple yet lovely and surprisingly easy to make. What led you to create that specific design?
A) That is one of my favorite designs too. It actually stemmed from my daughter needing a dress but I didn’t want to fiddle with ruffles and I HATE buttonholes so it uses snap instead. I LOVE that the simple bodice can be easily fancied up with lace, ric rak or other trim and you could easily ditch the circle skirt pattern and just add a ruffle skirt.
Q) What do we have to look forward to from you for spring and summer? My girls do love a summer dress (hint hint)
A) I definitely have some new patterns up my sleeve … a pair of knit ruffle pants, a knit tank with ruffles along the neckline, adjustable suspenders and even a skirt pattern for all you lovely ladies will be coming … and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I also just launched a ready to buy custom handmade women’s clothing collection that I am absolutely in LOVE with. Cute and comfortable … you’ll look super stylish but feel like you’re still wearing your pajamas (shhhhh … I promise I won’t tell anyone)
Q) I am sure I'm not the only mama who never touched a sewing machine before she had children. What advice would you give to newbie craftistas? Which of your patterns you would recommend as a "first project" piece?
A) Practice, practice and more practice. Don’t be afraid to try new things … that’s how you learn and get better. I would actually recommend the Circle Flounce Dress, it’s the one I always recommend. Then branch out into knits (I promise you they are not as scary as everyone says … I actually prefer to sew with knits) … and I would recommend the Peasant Knit Tee and the Basic Knit Leggings … super easy but my go-to patterns for my girls.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Chiffon Party Dress Mini-Tutorial
My apologies for the slight delay while I spent the majority of the last week coughing like a dying steam train. The plague has passed, so I can get down to the good stuff.
Last week, we did the great Easter dress reveal and I promised a mini-tutorial.
Before we get started, let me say that I take zero credit for the pattern design of this dress. Zilch. Nada. This tiny tutorial was made with permission of the designer, in this case the talented Jocole over on Etsy. What I'll show you here is a quick way to fancy up her design for a party or other special occasion. Be warned: I am a sewing novice and this is my first how-to. Throw those tomatoes gently.
What You'll Need
- Pattern for a circle dress or skirt, depending on what you want to make. I used the Circle Flounce Dress by Jocole but feel free to use what you wish. For those brave enough to try a bit of drafting, Ikat Bag has a free circular skirt tutorial and Google will happily fetch you any number of free dress patterns for the bodice.
- Lightweight fabric for bodice and skirt lining, in the amount called for by pattern. I used cotton for the entire lining of the practice dress and the bodice of the Easter dresses. For the skirt lining on the Easter dresses I chose taffeta to give a little extra sheen and rustle.
- Stretch chiffon, also called nylon tricot for skirt and/or bodice overlays, in the amount called for by pattern. Check your required yardage for your pattern's skirt and that is the amount you will need for each layer of the stretch chiffon. This fabric is different from regular chiffon and can be a bit tricky to find at local sewing stores. I found only one store in my area that carried it at all and their color selection was next to none. Most of the chiffon for my dresses came from DreamSpunKids. The array of colors she offers is amazing and the prices are reasonable.
- Lace or ribbon for straps and sash (optional). I purchased dyed-to-match lace from DreamSpunKids to coordinate exactly with my chiffon.
- The usual notions: thread, needle, etc. I did substitute buttons for the snaps called for in the Circle Flounce pattern, just because I hate snaps.
Step One
- Lay out and cut fabric for bodice, skirt, lining, and overlays. At this point you will decide whether you want to overlay the bodice and the skirt or only the skirt. For the practice dress, I used a single layer of hot pink chiffon for the bodice and the skirt--
For the Easter dresses, I chose an embroidered cotton bodice and two to three layers of chiffon for the skirts.
Multiple layers of chiffon make the skirt assembly a bit trickier but it is worth it for that lovely swish when you're done.
Step Two
- Assemble the bodice according to pattern
- If you have chosen to use a chiffon overlay, I suggest sewing the front and back sides of the chiffon together before sewing it over the lining. According to my trial-and-error this was less likely to cause pulling or distortion during the attachment.
- Assemble the skirt and overlays.
- Sew each layer of the skirt-- lining and chiffon overlays-- individually then baste the layers together at the top for ease in attaching the bodice. You will want to hem your lining but you don't have to hem the chiffon as it will not fray. I chose not to hem the chiffon for my dresses.
- Attach skirt to bodice.
- If you haven't already attached the straps, do so now. Attach sash if you have decided to use one. I made mine removable using simple belt loops you can learn to do at this Whimsy Couture tutorial.
- Try on your princess and watch her twirl!
There you have it. A few simple steps on how to transform a cute basic dress into something perfect for a summer party or church event. Thanks for tuning in!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The Great Easter Dress Saga Part Two
I'm sure you are all lined up with popcorn and lawn chairs to hear the second chapter of the Easter Dress saga, or at least that's how I picture you in my mind so I won't make you wait. When we left off, I was chopping cute dresses into skirts and searching for The Perfect Pattern
After a rather disastrous second sample dress which will not appear here because it is in the garbage, I found the Circle Flounce Dress by Etsy designer Jocole. I loved everything about this pattern, from its sweet and simple design to the sweet and simple construction. Having never made a circle skirt before, I was a tad nervous making the sample but her clear directions and easy to assemble pattern pieces made the process painless. She'll actually be featured here soon so you'll get to learn all about this creative and talented designer. But for now, it's onto sample making!
I did manage to source stretch chiffon (aka nylon tricot for the less romantic of you) at a local fabric store but the colors were very limited. I chose some hot pink chiffon and your basic pink broadcloth for the sample fabric. A few hours later, I had this done...
If it looks wrinkly and unfinished that's because it is. This was strictly a test copy.
Flush with success, I started to cut my chiffon.
And I cut. And I cut. And I cut. Don't let this fabric fool you. When it arrived in the mail and sat on my cutting table, batting its eyelashes at me, I couldn't think of anything but how beautiful it was, how frothy, how perfect for a little girl on Easter. It couldn't have been any more perfect if it were made out of Peeps. Only when I started the tedious process of cutting six overskirts (three for each dress) of very slippery, stretchy, fang-toothed fabric did I realize the truth. Chiffon is like a carnivorous bubble bath. Sure, it looks sweet and ethereal but sink your hands into it and you're in for a fight. I wish I'd thought to take pictures of my scrap pile but you'll just have to take my word that I finally wrangled it into submisison. I did come up a bit short, which caused a few panicked trips to the fabric store but other than that both the fabric and I survived. Relatively intact.
I discarded the overlaid bodice for a simple white embroidered cotton, which turned out to be a lovely accompaniment to the pink. My favorite part of the project was the subtle changes in color as I layered the chiffon. I ended up with something completely unique to my particular dress. Though I thought I would lose my sanity before I sewed one more layer, the end result was lovely.
I used dyed-to-match lace in a candy pink for the straps and the sash, which gave the pastel theme a bit of a kick.
The girls began twirling as soon as I tried it on them the first time. Spontaneous twirl is always a good sign for a dress. Everything held up well for Easter Sunday....
Little One models the front view
Loved One shows off her sashAnd looks generally cute
The dresses even survived some hard-core Easter egg hunting, which of course was the point. It's not fun to look fabulous on Easter if you can't score some candy in the process.
We came. We sewed. We conquered. Five practice dresses and eight yards of chiffon later, it was worth every stitch. Even the ones I had to rip out.
Tomorrow I'll post a quick and dirty guide to stealing this dress design for your own purposes. Keep the popcorn and lawn chairs handy.
Celebration, Culture, and Christians.
After our Good Friday service, a friend of mine raised the familiar question of paganism regarding our church Easter egg hunt. Not ours particularly-- we aren't giving away miniature fertility goddess statues with each egg-- but the entire concept of egg hunts. Her sincere concern to do the right thing on this issue turned my mind back to the ongoing holiday debate. It's the same issue some Christians raise for most major holidays, from Easter to Halloween to Christmas. (Though it is interesting how most of them don't suggest renaming the days of the week to strip them of their pagan origins.).
I'm not here to trace the origins of each holiday from their inception through centuries of cultural evolution to their present form. Fascinating as it would be, I have two kids. I'm simply here to offer what I see as the most biblical and logical approach to the matter.
What we have here is a question of "guilty by association". Is it ungodly to do something that was at one time (or still is) associated with pagan or secular culture?
Paul address this conflict in 1 Corinthians 8:4-13 when he discusses eating meat offered to idols. This common cultural practice offended some Christians who had only recently come out of idol worship and protested the pagan association. Paul points out that "an idol is nothing at all in the world." He encourages Christians to eat or abstain based on their individual strength of conscience, and he admonishes the more mature Christians to be considerate of the weak. If you celebrate a holiday and your brother or sister in Christ does not, don't try to convert them to your position. Respect them and then joyfully celebrate to the fullest liberty of your conscience.
Celebrating cultural traditions falls under this umbrella.
Christians do not live in a cultural vacuum. This was as true two thousand years ago as it is today. Religious celebrations were to ancient people what national holidays are to us. Rather than isolate believers completely from their cultural context, church leaders often chose to adopt a redemptive version of the original pagan tradition. Symbols and traditions were redefined within the new belief system and over the centuries, these new meanings became a cultural tradition in and of themselves with their own rich Christian history. When we celebrate Christmas or Easter we are participating in that redeemed history not the pagan counterpart.
Also, symbols are heavily dependent on cultural context and they evolve in meaning as the culture evolves. Chocolate bunnies and plastic eggs hold no religious resonance of any kind for modern American. The symbols have evolved to represent a generic celebration of spring and renewal, mostly secular in nature. You cannot judge a modern symbol by its ancient meaning. Look at several other symbolic associations-- pants on women, long hair on men, tattoos, ear piercings....all of which at one point had a definite negative and in some cases pagan significance but now are a normal part of culture.
If you are a Christian whose desire is to remove yourself as much as possible from any secular context, your desire is admirable but misguided. We are inescapably human.
Our cultures, whether two thousand years ago or in 2011, are woven through us in such a way that it will be impossible on earth to erase any possible association with secular practice or belief. Our job then is not to sever ourselves from the cultural tapestry but to change the thread with which we are weaving. We aren't ever going to make earth heavenly. But we can "dye the thread" so that in our interactions with human culture we show that we are truly citizens of an eternal culture.
Some day, the entire earth will be redeemed so that every symbol, every tradition, ever hope and dream and aspiration and celebration of man will revolve around our God. Until then, we best reflect His light to culture when we are participating with redemptive intent rather than isolating ourselves to a holy hermit cave. When we engage culture, when we celebrate with the pagans, so to speak, they ask us why our joy is different than their empty placation. We then have a chance to tell them the true meaning, to paint the tapestry in true colors, and open their eyes to the truth.
So if you want to celebrate Easter with eggs and bunnies, go ahead. If you want to abstain, do so without guilt. However you celebrate, do so with a heart tuned to the wonderful realities behind the celebration and your joy will be full.
Have two cents to throw at my direction? Please comment. Dialogue. Rant, even. All thoughts are welcome.
I'm not here to trace the origins of each holiday from their inception through centuries of cultural evolution to their present form. Fascinating as it would be, I have two kids. I'm simply here to offer what I see as the most biblical and logical approach to the matter.
What we have here is a question of "guilty by association". Is it ungodly to do something that was at one time (or still is) associated with pagan or secular culture?
Paul address this conflict in 1 Corinthians 8:4-13 when he discusses eating meat offered to idols. This common cultural practice offended some Christians who had only recently come out of idol worship and protested the pagan association. Paul points out that "an idol is nothing at all in the world." He encourages Christians to eat or abstain based on their individual strength of conscience, and he admonishes the more mature Christians to be considerate of the weak. If you celebrate a holiday and your brother or sister in Christ does not, don't try to convert them to your position. Respect them and then joyfully celebrate to the fullest liberty of your conscience.
Celebrating cultural traditions falls under this umbrella.
Christians do not live in a cultural vacuum. This was as true two thousand years ago as it is today. Religious celebrations were to ancient people what national holidays are to us. Rather than isolate believers completely from their cultural context, church leaders often chose to adopt a redemptive version of the original pagan tradition. Symbols and traditions were redefined within the new belief system and over the centuries, these new meanings became a cultural tradition in and of themselves with their own rich Christian history. When we celebrate Christmas or Easter we are participating in that redeemed history not the pagan counterpart.
Also, symbols are heavily dependent on cultural context and they evolve in meaning as the culture evolves. Chocolate bunnies and plastic eggs hold no religious resonance of any kind for modern American. The symbols have evolved to represent a generic celebration of spring and renewal, mostly secular in nature. You cannot judge a modern symbol by its ancient meaning. Look at several other symbolic associations-- pants on women, long hair on men, tattoos, ear piercings....all of which at one point had a definite negative and in some cases pagan significance but now are a normal part of culture.
If you are a Christian whose desire is to remove yourself as much as possible from any secular context, your desire is admirable but misguided. We are inescapably human.
Our cultures, whether two thousand years ago or in 2011, are woven through us in such a way that it will be impossible on earth to erase any possible association with secular practice or belief. Our job then is not to sever ourselves from the cultural tapestry but to change the thread with which we are weaving. We aren't ever going to make earth heavenly. But we can "dye the thread" so that in our interactions with human culture we show that we are truly citizens of an eternal culture.
Some day, the entire earth will be redeemed so that every symbol, every tradition, ever hope and dream and aspiration and celebration of man will revolve around our God. Until then, we best reflect His light to culture when we are participating with redemptive intent rather than isolating ourselves to a holy hermit cave. When we engage culture, when we celebrate with the pagans, so to speak, they ask us why our joy is different than their empty placation. We then have a chance to tell them the true meaning, to paint the tapestry in true colors, and open their eyes to the truth.
So if you want to celebrate Easter with eggs and bunnies, go ahead. If you want to abstain, do so without guilt. However you celebrate, do so with a heart tuned to the wonderful realities behind the celebration and your joy will be full.
Have two cents to throw at my direction? Please comment. Dialogue. Rant, even. All thoughts are welcome.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Great Easter Dress Saga Part One
Easter has come and gone and my sewing machine is lounging in my dining room with its poor little gears on ice. The Easter sewing process was long. At times brutal. It involved chiffon. Enough to make a machine (and a mama) lose her mind! But all the testing and re-testing and re-sewing and panicked last minute trips to fabric store paid off. You'll see later.
I had a fairly clear vision with the project. I had fallen in love with the selection of stretch chiffon offered at DreamSpunKids so I knew it had to be layers of ethereal colors paired with a very classic construction. I chose a vintage-inspired color palette of pink, peach, and white with touches of dyed-to-match lace. But I was not about to cut into my pile of beautiful-- and delicate-- fabric without some serious practice.
My first dress option was the Party Dress by The Cottage Home. Check out the free tutorial and pattern on her blog if you feel inclined to try one. Loved One and I were going to a bridal shower for a friend at church so I thought it'd be the perfect time to get my feet wet on the design using nice, dependable cotton. I found some surprisingly cute fabric at Wal-mart no less.
The light in my dining room gives it a yellow tinge but the green is really light and spring-y. Think lime sherbet.
The tutorial was easy enough to follow, though I still don't understand how to turn a lining.. I am 100% sure it is my lack of sewing skill and not her tutorial but I skipped that step and decided to do straps instead. I also decided to make a more narrow belt as Loved One gets obsessive compulsive if a bow is too big.
This was the first time I'd ever covered my own buttons. I know now the true meaning of the phrase “cute as a button” and may need professional help to keep me from buying hundreds of buttons just to cover them. It's that easy and that satisfying.
One, two three...awwwww
Though it took literally until the midnight hour, I thought the results were super cute. Especially the buttons.
Front view
Back view with a badly tied bow. It was midnight, people.
Loved One was in bed so I didn't get a chance to fit her until the morning of the shower. Which is when we hit trouble.
The dress, though I'd used the size 4 pattern pieces, was too big for my tastes. It seemed like it could fit a size 5 or even 6. Again, I'm a sewing dunce sometimes so the problem could be with me but I suspect the pattern pieces were a bit large. This was perhaps an intentional design choice but I wanted something more fitted. Because I had neither the time nor the patience to redo and reattach an entire bodice, the dress became....a skirt.
I'm rather happy this happened because it is a beautiful skirt, one I may make again in other colors. Loved One seemed pleased and we made it to the shower without a single melt-down about the bow.
A beautiful bow and no tears. Happiness.
Front view with extra baby doll cuddling.
We had fun at the shower and I left very glad I'd tested before I cut my chiffon. What happened after I did cut it? Come back tomorrow and I'll show you as well as offer some tips for making one of your own.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Screaming Sanctification
For the most part, I approach the secular parenting dialogue with a grain or two of salt. The answers to my questions on parenting aren't going to be found in the glistening pages of the newest family magazine or in a Google search result. As far as my own two cents goes, I doubt the women beaming at me from the pages of said magazine would much care to hear what I think about raising children. I do, however, have a good bit of curiosity for the current thought trends and that curiosity was piqued by a recent study.
Are you ready for it?
"Want to be happy? Have two daughters Having two daughters is the key to a happy and harmonious family life, according to a study."
No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not going to be able to pass this one up. I read about the study a week or so ago and it's been gnawing at the back of my mind while I wash dishes and vacuum. Indulge me while I spend my two cents.
This study, as you can read in this online article, informs us that if we want to spend our childrearing years in parental bliss, two girls is the way to go. Two girl households scored "high in every category" such was being easy to handle, getting along well, and generally not making too much of a fuss. The rankings went down from there, with families of four girls being blackmarked as the worst possible combination. According to this study, if you have more than two children-- especially if you have the dreaded Four Girl Household-- you might as well buy a suite at a mental health clinic along with that minivan.
The study goes on to describe the benefits and disadvantages of each combination of children with the tone one might describe the benefits of different auto insurance plans or vacation packages.
What struck me was how accurately-- and tragically-- this sums up our culture's attitude towards children. Without a biblical rationale for reproduction, society is left to hammer out its own reasons for embarking on the immense undertaking of parenting. God, in His grace, has built into most humans, especially human women, the desire to be parents-- to nurture, to foster life, to pass on something of our traditions to a new generation. That's part of what it means to be human. But as with many things in this Me Generation, parenting has become more and more about self-gratification. Much like climbing Mount Everest or going on a walking tour of Europe, raising children is added to the list of Things To Do Before You Die. People view parenting in terms of what it can do for their emotions, their self-image, not to mention that gaping hole in their soul where God is meant to be. Baby stores get this. The thousand dollar cherry stained cribs, the three hundred dollar bedding sets, the eight hundred dollar stroller system....it's all made to feed into the idea of parenting as a means of personal happiness
This study just manages to quantify an idea already out there-- that parenting is about you, the parent, and you should take every step to plan your parental journey with your happiness and ease in mind. When you factor in that the average childbearing age is steadily on the rise, the stakes are even higher. You'd better create the perfect family because this is your one shot. You've searched for satisfaction in relationships, in corporate success....now you have this one chance to really find something that makes you happy and you'd better not screw it up by having children willy nilly.
Let me clarify a few things. I'm not saying God wants you to be miserable, nor that He wants every Christian parent to have children ad nauseum. His plan for each set of parents is unique, right down to the number, gender, and spacing of their children. I'm not saying that some family dynamics present more obvious challenges than others. I'm certainly not saying that parents shouldn't be happy because of course they should. Parenting is indeed bliss. But it's real bliss, the kind in which you are exhausted and possibly spit-up covered at three in the morning for the third night in a row but you are at peace to the very marrow of your bones because you know you are doing something eternal. This kind of bliss opens your arms and your heart to your whiny preschooler and your clingy toddler even though you are trying to cook spaghetti because this is something vital.
And that's the crux of this matter.
Without eternity in view, without any knowledge of God's commands or His plans for family, self-fulfillment mixed with a few noble humanist aspirations is really all there is to parenting. Without that compass, parents are as lost as any other member of secular society. When your viewpoint is eternal, you realize you are raising children as God's instrument in their sanctification just as they are His instruments in yours.
That's right. The screaming fights over toys, the juice spilled in that hard-to-reach part of the backseat, the days when just getting everyone dressed involves thirty minutes of tears, arguing, and discipline. That's for you.
There are things that God wants to teach you that you can't learn without kids. And there is an entire world of things He wants to teach them about Himself through you. Whether you have one child, two girls, two boys, or ten girls, or any combination thereof, God has in mind both your heart and theirs. Those afternoons of "screaming sanctification" are His way of refining your heart just as much as those sweet almost-asleep cuddles.
Studies like this one can't understand that fact.
It's like trying to get a colorblind man to tell you the difference between peach, mandarin, and mango fabric. Asking a deaf man to delineate the differences between Beethoven and Bach. You can't trust the results.
I am pregnant with a third child so I've skipped out on my parenting nirvana already. Something tells me I won't miss it so much.
Are you ready for it?
"Want to be happy? Have two daughters Having two daughters is the key to a happy and harmonious family life, according to a study."
No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not going to be able to pass this one up. I read about the study a week or so ago and it's been gnawing at the back of my mind while I wash dishes and vacuum. Indulge me while I spend my two cents.
This study, as you can read in this online article, informs us that if we want to spend our childrearing years in parental bliss, two girls is the way to go. Two girl households scored "high in every category" such was being easy to handle, getting along well, and generally not making too much of a fuss. The rankings went down from there, with families of four girls being blackmarked as the worst possible combination. According to this study, if you have more than two children-- especially if you have the dreaded Four Girl Household-- you might as well buy a suite at a mental health clinic along with that minivan.
The study goes on to describe the benefits and disadvantages of each combination of children with the tone one might describe the benefits of different auto insurance plans or vacation packages.
What struck me was how accurately-- and tragically-- this sums up our culture's attitude towards children. Without a biblical rationale for reproduction, society is left to hammer out its own reasons for embarking on the immense undertaking of parenting. God, in His grace, has built into most humans, especially human women, the desire to be parents-- to nurture, to foster life, to pass on something of our traditions to a new generation. That's part of what it means to be human. But as with many things in this Me Generation, parenting has become more and more about self-gratification. Much like climbing Mount Everest or going on a walking tour of Europe, raising children is added to the list of Things To Do Before You Die. People view parenting in terms of what it can do for their emotions, their self-image, not to mention that gaping hole in their soul where God is meant to be. Baby stores get this. The thousand dollar cherry stained cribs, the three hundred dollar bedding sets, the eight hundred dollar stroller system....it's all made to feed into the idea of parenting as a means of personal happiness
This study just manages to quantify an idea already out there-- that parenting is about you, the parent, and you should take every step to plan your parental journey with your happiness and ease in mind. When you factor in that the average childbearing age is steadily on the rise, the stakes are even higher. You'd better create the perfect family because this is your one shot. You've searched for satisfaction in relationships, in corporate success....now you have this one chance to really find something that makes you happy and you'd better not screw it up by having children willy nilly.
Let me clarify a few things. I'm not saying God wants you to be miserable, nor that He wants every Christian parent to have children ad nauseum. His plan for each set of parents is unique, right down to the number, gender, and spacing of their children. I'm not saying that some family dynamics present more obvious challenges than others. I'm certainly not saying that parents shouldn't be happy because of course they should. Parenting is indeed bliss. But it's real bliss, the kind in which you are exhausted and possibly spit-up covered at three in the morning for the third night in a row but you are at peace to the very marrow of your bones because you know you are doing something eternal. This kind of bliss opens your arms and your heart to your whiny preschooler and your clingy toddler even though you are trying to cook spaghetti because this is something vital.
And that's the crux of this matter.
Without eternity in view, without any knowledge of God's commands or His plans for family, self-fulfillment mixed with a few noble humanist aspirations is really all there is to parenting. Without that compass, parents are as lost as any other member of secular society. When your viewpoint is eternal, you realize you are raising children as God's instrument in their sanctification just as they are His instruments in yours.
That's right. The screaming fights over toys, the juice spilled in that hard-to-reach part of the backseat, the days when just getting everyone dressed involves thirty minutes of tears, arguing, and discipline. That's for you.
There are things that God wants to teach you that you can't learn without kids. And there is an entire world of things He wants to teach them about Himself through you. Whether you have one child, two girls, two boys, or ten girls, or any combination thereof, God has in mind both your heart and theirs. Those afternoons of "screaming sanctification" are His way of refining your heart just as much as those sweet almost-asleep cuddles.
Studies like this one can't understand that fact.
It's like trying to get a colorblind man to tell you the difference between peach, mandarin, and mango fabric. Asking a deaf man to delineate the differences between Beethoven and Bach. You can't trust the results.
I am pregnant with a third child so I've skipped out on my parenting nirvana already. Something tells me I won't miss it so much.
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