Seeing Gollum: Adventures Beyond the Shire

The girls and I have been reading the Hobbit lately and we've traced Bilbo and the dwarf company from the Shire all the way to the den of Smaug.Upon request from Big Girl to see pictures from the story, I brought up a few images of characters from the movie. She wanted to see Bilbo (who was not as round and hairy as she had imagined) and Smaug (who did not in the pictures live up to the ferocity of the dragon in her mind) and the dwarves. And she wanted to see Gollum. I found an image gallery. She wanted to see what he looked like when he was sad.

And then she didn't want to see any more.

It makes me feel uncomfortable in my tummy, she said. He's icky.

Yes, he is icky. I told her. We talked about greed, and how it was an terrible thing to be so consumed by desire for something that it made you ugly and miserable. We talked about how Tolkein made Gollum look icky to show that truth. That our hearts, without God, were just as horrid as Gollum.

I still wish I hadn't seen him. She said. He might give me bad dreams. I'm scared of him.

Uh-oh. Cue the Mama Guilt moment.

It's okay to be scared, I said. When you are scared of something you just have to put it in the proper place in your mind. Remember that Gollum was just something Tolkein imagined. He's not real.

Maybe I'll imagine Gollum's head on Smaug's body, she said, and started laughing. (How that is less scary I'm not sure but apparently it worked.)

But the Mama Guilt stuck. Maybe I'd gotten too excited at her newfound love of "adventurous stories" as she called them. Maybe I should have figured out that Gollum would be creepy in a way Smaug wasn't.....because Smaug, in all his scale and flame is completely /other/. When you look at Gollum, there is something that makes you squirm. He's vaguely familiar. He's the inversion of the hobbits we love and with whom we identify-- as if we're looking at our own darker and more wretched parts laid bare. Perhaps something in my little girl's heart picked up on an echo of that.

I thought. Then thought some more. She's halfway to seven. She's moving out of the safe, beautiful stories in which evil is toothless and good rarely
threatened. She's out of the Shire now. She wants adventure stories and she is going to sooner or later-- in the stories and in her life-- confront
uncomfortable characters. The more we read together, and the more she grows up, she'll learn the sad truth of what such characters can do to make trouble
and ruin. She'll learn what trouble and ruin lies in her own heart. I would, truth be told, rather her first encounter with "icky" to be the things we find
in a book. While I take seriously my job as her mother to guard her young heart and tender mind, I would rather her learn now how to put uncomfortable things in their proper place. Now, when I can shut the bad guy away and put him up on a shelf then cuddle her.

I don't want to see the movie, she said.

You don't have to.

Maybe when I'm seven. I'll be big then.

Oh baby girl, your Mama knows that. Your mama knows.

Half-Homemade Mama

Let's get one thing straight: as much I love pinning recipes for cute cupcakes, yummy cookies and endless varieties of chocolate things, I am a bit of a slacker. Like today, when I really wanted to bake something for the girls but have spent the day scaling a mountain of backed up laundry (okay, totally my fault there) and am short on Baking Fairy Magic. I did, however, have a Funfetti Cake Mix. A boxed cake mix. Every time you mention those words, a Real Baking Mom breaks out in hives. (Sorry)

But, thanks still to Pinterest and the slacker-friendly folks at Pillsbury, I found this awesome recipe for Funfetti Cookies. I had never made cookies from a cake mix before, so I followed the (simple) recipe with a mix of eagerness and apprehension. The last time I tried to make cookies with River we went through two batches of strange tasting half-burned bits of almost cookie before I gave up and bought her an icecream from McDonalds. (Bad Mommy!)

But these cookies were amazing. I'm not taking much credit for said amazement. My job was to stir the mix and watch the edges of the cookies like an OCD hawk so I could snatch them out the second they crisped golden brown. Also, I misread the oven temperature and cooked them most of the way on 350 rather than 375. That could have been the secret to their success. They came out fluffy, chewy, soft, and generally heavenly. Especially when you add icing and sprinkles.

The girls got to decorate the cookies themselves and chowed down on their handiwork while they finished Secret of the Wings.
 
Homemade is great.

Half-homemade, especially on a Saturday when all I've seemed to do is wash and fold and pick up semi-smushed things from the floor, is also pretty darn good.

A Little Old Fashioned (Signature Style)

Since Christmas, I have taken it slow on sewing, and I decided to sit out most of the current cycle of Project Run and Play. There's been some fabulous clothing posted, as always. It's been nice to focus on enjoying everyone's creativity but I did want to try to do something for the last week. My signature style is probably best defined by its lack of definition. I am eclectic, distracted, and a bit random.

But I have another confession: I am old-fashioned. While I admire the utter coolness of many of the sewing mamas I follow, my sewing is completely not cool. Not trendy. If anything, it's inspired (more than I want to admit) by the almost-country Virginia suburbs of my childhood, by nostalgia for poofy peach dresses and gingham folk arty design aesthetic. By sleeveless summer dresses and jumpers and sunhats. I find myself, more and more, creating clothes that remind me of what it felt like to be young and running through pine trees and tall grass. There's just no fighting it.

When a friend gave me a bag of jeans to cut up for refashioning, I knew I wanted to make my baby girl a jumper of her own. I wanted hand-stitched details. And ruffles. And rainbows. Here's what came off the sewing table:

 It is not a fancy dress but it's bright and cheery and can stand up to all the playing and running after big sisters that fills Baby Girl's day.

 Picking flowers for Mommy (okay, picking grass and thinking its a flower)

A back view

 

Stand still for a picture? I think not

The hand stitching (and indulgence in nostalgia) came from the teddy bears I

embroidered on the bodice. The simple shape reminds me of the country bears I saw in craft magazines growing up.

No you can't really see details here but Baby Girl is being cute.

I also wanted ruffles. If there is anything consistent about my style, it's that I love a good ruffle. And I love rainbow color schemes (having long since given up on a single favorite color). The bright colors just pop against the dark denim.

 

I took this project one tiny step at a time, which I found quite a relaxing change from my normal sew-until-midnight frenzy. I don't mind continuing the trend. Fewer projects, more mindfulness in the making. 

It's been another inspiring season of Project Run and Play. I'm happy to sew along.

Simple and True

The open auditions for Project Run and Play are here again and I really, truly, was going to sit this one out. I have Christmas photo dresses to make and Christmas skirts to sew and a banner for the window and random little girl gifts. I have to whip up some hardcore winter pajamas for our upcoming trek to Maine.

But....there was this fabric. Two fabrics, really. Winter blue with big white polka dots and a yummy vintage tone floral print with more polka dots. I had eyed that fabric every since I saw it in the remnant bin a few weeks ago. It called to me. I loved the warm tones of the reds, yellows, and oranges against the softer blue background. I loved the tiny polka dots mixed with the big polka dots. and as luck would have it, I had to return some corduroy. Which meant store credit!  That fabric was mine and, of course, I immediately ditched all Christmas sewing to play with it. I love how the two fabric has winter tones-- the white polka dots and icy blue-- but also warm summer colors. Almost like something you wear in the wet, rainy cold while thinking of the sun.

I wanted to sew a simple but cozy little outfit so my baby could keep up the cuteness in the Frosty Northern Wasteland. And since she's going to be held and cuddled within an inch of her life by all the relatives we haven't seen for way too long, why not put her in fleece? She'll be even more teddy-bear like :)

I frankenpatterned a simple A-line dress and some basic leggings to match. The body of the dress I drafted using an existing jumper as a model, and the sleeves I took from one of the many random patterns cluttering my craft area. While I was sewing, I kept hearing Jewel's "Simple and True" playing in the back of my head, so I finally looked it up on Youtube. Even though it's a song about a woman and her man, part of it very much reminds me of my littlest girl.

How soon spring comes, how soon spring forgets

I want to hold back time, say it will never begin.

Old Man Winter be our friend

The more I live, the more I know

what's simple is true
I love you.

 Because I've procrastinated, my photos are terrible due to it being dark when I took the outside photos. My camera doesn't do too well with inside lighting either, but we muddled through. I am very happy with the outfit because it is exactly what I love to sew. Things that are simple. True. And loved.

 By the Christmas tree....and sitting still for about the only time in the photo shoot.

On the porch, with terrible flash lighting. This shows the whole outfit best but does not do justice to the color. The reds and yellows are much softer.

And my favorite....

 

I wish I had better photos but that's what you get for deciding at noon that you are going to sew an outfit and photograph it by evening. 

There lots of cute designs up on the Project Run and Play audition linky so stop by and get inspired!

A Little Holiday, A Little Handmade

 

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I have almost come to dread the phrase "handmade holiday". It speaks of some other alternate universe in which Ever Single Thing about Christmas in ones household is beautiful, handcrafted, and perfect. The ornaments. The Advent calendar. The nativity scene. Every gift thoughtfully, lovingly, flawlessly created....and all wrapped and under the tree by December 1st. Instead of lawn ornaments. there's a chorus of Victorian-era carolers on hire. They sing perfect four-part acapella and bring their own hot chocolate.

But, when I'm not freaking out over Visions of Unattainable Perfection, I do really love the idea of adding small handmade touches to the Christmas season.  And I love the idea of getting together with friends to share those handmade touches. Which is why, in a moment of rare bravery or not so rare insanity, I'm having a party.

I refuse to call it that, really. "Party" is serious. Throwing a party is something that was probably covered by a college course back in the 1950s. Handmade gift swap get-together" takes up more words but is so much more humble and friendly. So I am hosting a handmade gift swap get-together which should, in theory, be simple. A huge pot of chili, a group of friends, and cute little handmade or semi-hand made gifts. This way each of us can enjoy a bit of handcrafted goodness in our holiday but we each only have to make one gift. Even I, despite my procrastination and general phobia of trying new crafts, can manage to come up with one handmade gift. I think.

I promised everyone (two weeks ago) that I'd put up some easy gift ideas to get our collective creative juices flowing. And here, fashionably late, is that list, culled (where else) from my favorite Pinterest boards. Sorry that I don't have pictures to accompany them but I have dishes to do.

Yarn Wreath

http://mrandmrspear.blogspot.com/2012/03/yarn-wreath-tutorial.html

Tinted Mason Jars

http://pinterest.com/pin/27795722671720980/

Fat Quarter Clutch

http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/2012/04/fat-quarter-project-ric-rac-clutch-from-jennifer-ladd/

Scrapbook Paper Envelopes

http://emilysummers-designer.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/pretty-handmade-envelopes.html

Banana Bread Jars

http://pinterest.com/pin/27795722671171571/

Tea Towel Wrapped Bread

http://moneysavingmom.com/2012/08/frugal-hostess-gift-homemade-bread-wrapped-in-a-tea-towel.html

Lemon and Thyme Salt Scrub

http://pinterest.com/pin/27795722671062846/

Scrapbook Paper Coasters

http://twogirlsbeingcrafty.blogspot.com/2011/02/ramseys-finally-have-coasters.html

Apron In A Jar

http://www.pleasant-home.com/2011/08/auntie-dots-aprons.html

Custom Candle Covers

http://www.fancylittlethings.com/2012/04/custom-candle-covers-a-simple-diy/

Embellishment Assortment

http://www.niftythriftydrygoods.com/proddetail.asp?prod=CQEA-peach-gray

Jersey Knit Lace Trim Scarf

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http://sealoquesea.wordpress.com/2011/12/04/pinning/

And one more link, to a roundup of fabulous and frugal handmade gifts...

25 Gifts Under $5

http://www.the36thavenue.com/2011/11/25-handmade-gifts-under-5.html

Happy crafting to all and I'll see you at the not-party.

Dear E

Someday I will not longer have to convince you at bedtime that bears will not come out of the bushes in the backyard.

When that day comes, you will have moved on to other fears, perhaps less dramatic, but perhaps not so easily dispelled by your mother.

Until then, sleep safe. I will outbear anything that comes your way until morning.

Night Mothering

To the mother out there exhausted, nursed-out, and semi-dreading what her baby will ask of her tonight: I've been there. We all have. The blessing of loving, nurturing, and nursing a baby is not just snuggle-highs and sweetness. Sometimes you are so tired your bones ache. Sometimes you are so frustrated at the intensity of her need for you that you want to pull your hair out and cry and you might consider doing just that if you thought you could actually have five minutes alone in the bathroom. Sometimes you go to bed with a knot in your stomach wondering when she'll grow out of the night waking and the nursing marathons. With a sense of guilt, that maybe it's your fault. That maybe you should be tougher.

Hang in there. The nursing nights will wane. The intensity of her needs will never go away but it will change....other things will be required of you as she grows older. Things both easier and infinitely harder than lack of sleep. I have found the best way to uncurl that knot in your stomach when you hear her waken and cry for you is to take a deep breath, groan a little, then pull her to you and kiss her. Remember how short these little years will be. Her waking is not your fault. It's just who she is right now.

I have come to think, over my six years of night-mothering three babies, of the many ways our children get their first "practical theology" lessons from their mothers. When we give them ourselves even when we are exhausted, when we meet their cries with love even when it's the fifth time in two hours, they are learning. They learn that if they cry, someone will answer with love and understanding of their needs. They learn-- by instinct-- to depend recklessly. When someday I tell my children about a God who loves them and who will come to their aid no matter what, no matter what cost to Himself, I want that to resonate with their souls. They won't remember these nights I spent mothering them but they are shaped by them anyway.

You are tired. You are soul-weary. You are grace-filled.