Night Mothering

To the mother out there exhausted, nursed-out, and semi-dreading what her baby will ask of her tonight: I've been there. We all have. The blessing of loving, nurturing, and nursing a baby is not just snuggle-highs and sweetness. Sometimes you are so tired your bones ache. Sometimes you are so frustrated at the intensity of her need for you that you want to pull your hair out and cry and you might consider doing just that if you thought you could actually have five minutes alone in the bathroom. Sometimes you go to bed with a knot in your stomach wondering when she'll grow out of the night waking and the nursing marathons. With a sense of guilt, that maybe it's your fault. That maybe you should be tougher.

Hang in there. The nursing nights will wane. The intensity of her needs will never go away but it will change....other things will be required of you as she grows older. Things both easier and infinitely harder than lack of sleep. I have found the best way to uncurl that knot in your stomach when you hear her waken and cry for you is to take a deep breath, groan a little, then pull her to you and kiss her. Remember how short these little years will be. Her waking is not your fault. It's just who she is right now.

I have come to think, over my six years of night-mothering three babies, of the many ways our children get their first "practical theology" lessons from their mothers. When we give them ourselves even when we are exhausted, when we meet their cries with love even when it's the fifth time in two hours, they are learning. They learn that if they cry, someone will answer with love and understanding of their needs. They learn-- by instinct-- to depend recklessly. When someday I tell my children about a God who loves them and who will come to their aid no matter what, no matter what cost to Himself, I want that to resonate with their souls. They won't remember these nights I spent mothering them but they are shaped by them anyway.

You are tired. You are soul-weary. You are grace-filled.

Happy Halloween!

I started sewing the girl's Halloween costumes when my oldest was three, and every year since I have insisted I would not be sewing at midnight the day before and definitely not the morning before trick or treating.

Wrong. Again.

Halloween seems to be the busiest sewing holiday for me, especially since I did a costumes for a couple of friends this year. The girls originally wanted to be ballerinas, but our church is having a Reformation Day celebration which includes costumes for the kids. The princess theme wins again.

Baby Girl's dress uses some of the material intended for the ballerina costumes; everything else came from stash or thrift fabrics. I wanted to do a laced overdress and a peasant-style underdress, so I was thrilled to find sheets for $1.50 at the thrift store.

Big Girl's was a shiny, crinkly ivory with a beautiful quilted border at the bottom. Small Girl wanted to be a warrior princess, so I chose a plain cotton quilt that had a lovely embroidered border to give a touch of femininity to her battle-ready dress.

It was rather fun to create princess dresses that, for the most part, didn't involve yards and yards and layers and layers of tulle, chiffon, and all other poofy things. Baby Girl's dress did use tulle, and it did have poof, but it was small-scale compared to what normally goes into a princess dress around here. My favorite part of the dresses to make (and the part that took the longest) was the sleeves.

Big Girl's sleeves are made of the sheet material, some stashed stretch chiffon, and a band that matched the bodice of her overdress. I love the double-gathered poof near the top, especially since the chiffon is super-soft. It's rapidly becoming my choice for non-scratchy poof. :)

Since Small Girl had to fight in her sleeves, I kept it more simple. I did navy blue sleeves with a band of the same embroidery that borders her underdress and some gathered stretch chiffon. I left an opening in the band so that she could have sword-swinging freedom.

Big Girl's dress was the perfect project for an inexplicable amount of orange shiny poly-silk drapery fabric I bought a while back. I intended to make a baby sling but it was too slippery so it just sat in my stash for a while, huge and orange and hopeless. Until this dress.

I love the golds and oranges together. I probably would never have thought to pick these colors for her but I love them. It's so vibrant and a refreshing change from the more traditional princess colors (though we will always love purple in this house).

She loved it. She twirled in it. She wore her brand new Big Girl almost-high heels and thought she was all kinds of grown up. I will let her believe that for now.





Since Small Girl wanted to be a warrior princess-- I am trying to convince her to call herself a shield maiden because Tolkein references are never gratuitous-- we kept the colors muted. In a nod to Reformation Day, I went with the colors of the Christian flag-- navy blue, red, and white-- with a brown faux-leather armor-style bodice. Her favorite part was the sword and shield. No sooner than two minutes after the costume was on she was off to kill bears.

She could barely stand still long enough for me to take pictures. Too many battles and adventures!

Baby Girl's dress was the most traditional princess dress. It had a poofier skirt and a layer of tulle (but only one! I promise!) and lots of ribbon. I loved the textures and shades of purple in her dress-- everything from lavender velour to violet organza to lilac tulle. It was fun to sew. I kept it short enough to keep her from tripping over it, as I didn't want her to spend her first time trick or treating falling down every few feet.

She got the hang of her tiny purple trick or treat basket real fast. Most of the candy will go to her sisters (or her dad and me!) but she is old enough for some of it. Plus it was adorable to watch her work up the courage to go and grab the candy out of the bowl.

We had a blast this year and I think these costumes are my favorite yet.
Next year, though, I'll start sewing in August. Honest!

Fashion Icon Sewalong: The Gold Dust Dress

As I mentioned in my inspiration post, when I read about the PRP Fashion Icon challenge, I knew exactly who I wanted to do. Tori Amos is not just an amazingly talented creative force, she has an awesome style as well-- by turns refined and rebellious, feminine and fierce, ethereal and edgy. I channeled her look into a Little Girl Tori dress, one that played off her love of prints and sheers with a seventies-retro twist.

I was also inspired by the lyrics of one of her songs, Gold Dust.

How did it go so fast?

We'll say when we are looking back

And then we'll understand....we held gold dust in our hands.

My daughters are growing up so fast, and sewing lovely little things for them is one way I can celebrate it because these gold-dust days aren't going to be forever.

This dress was the product of many a misadventure. I couldn't decide on the right silhouette for the dress. I used materials I don't normally work with-- sheers and sequins among other things-- and I drafted everything. Even the sleeves. Despite all the drama (and the hundreds of sequins that ended up all over the dining room floor) I like how it came out. I especially love how it picks up the gold tones in my daughter's hair. Though my next project is going to be in something simple and fuss-free. Cotton anyone?

She even tested it out on the swings, because no self-respecting three year old will wear a dress you can't swing in. 

She said it itched so I will need to go back and add extra lining at the neck and sleeve edges. That's the price one pays for sequins. 

....and she's off again.


Check out the Project Run and Play blog to sew what the real contestants created this week. There is some beautiful stuff, including a Kate Middleton inspired ensemble and an adorable Jackie-O baby girl look I can already see my littlest girl rocking for Christmas.

Project Run and Play Sewalong: The Fashion Icon

I am excited, as usual, to see the start of a new cycle of Project Run and Play and I am very excited about this week's sew-along. The challenge is to make an outfit based on one of our favorite fashion icons.

I knew, instantly, I had to do Tori.
Tori Amos is not only an insanely talented musician but she's got a fashion sense that I love. She doesn't play by the rules of female musicians (in that she keeps most of her clothes on) and she doesn't lock herself into one type of look. She'll go vintage-satire. She'll go sequins. She'll go for structure. She'll do leather. After browsing way too many Tori pictures (listening to her music) I finally pinpointed the three elements of her look I wanted to use as inspiration for this challenge: drama, sparkle, and sheer layers.

Tori is not afraid of prints and she loves dramatic shapes and silhouettes

She loves layers of sheers and kimono-inspired gowns with flowing sleeves, especially in concert

She's not afraid of sparkle and shine

I am very excited to sew a little girl version of her style and I can't wait to see what other fashion icons are reinterpreted this week.

Project Run and Play: Skirting the Issue

I am mildly obsessed with Project Run and Play. Talented designers, cute kids clothes, free tutorials....what's not to love?

The site has gotten even more interesting with a summer skirt drive. That's right. Skirting the Issue is a month long sew-a-long designed to outfit girls in foster care with fabulous handmade skirts. Any kind, any size, for any age. How cool is that?

As soon as I am done with Wedding Sewing (pictures to come soon once my new memory card reader gets here) then the girls and I are diving into this with both feet. Dresses may be dandy and shirts may be sweet but skirts are my favorite thing to sew ever and now I have an excuse to go crazy.

They will be posting tutorials and giveaways at the Project Run and Play blog all month so stop by and check it out. If you sew, consider taking half an hour to make something that will let a girl know she's special!

Mozzarella Tuna Biscuit Bites

A combination of a sick family and a broken microwave makes from some interesting lunches. We're leaving for a vacation next week so the goal has been to eat through whatever we have in the cupboard and fridge so we don't have a lot of leftovers sitting around and spoiling. Today, however, I wanted something more than a sandwich and pretzels, so I had my eye on a can of biscuits in the back of the fridge. About five minutes of rummaging later, these were in the oven...

Mozzarella Tuna Biscuit Bites and Mozzarella Turkey Biscuit Bites

You will need.... 

1 muffin pan
No-stick cooking spray

1 can of 10 biscuits
1 can tuna in oil
Slices of ham 
Mrs Dash Tuscan seasoning
Shredded mozarella

 You can substitute whatever you have on hand. I'd like to add veggies next time.

To make...

 Preheat the oven to 400 or whatever your biscuit can indicates. Spray the muffin pan with cooking spray.

In a bowl, combine the tuna, seasoning, and some mozarella. I drained some of the oil but left some to help mix everything together and add flavor. Here's where I would have liked to add some veggies-- peppers would be yummy. Or broccoli, for my girls. Once the mixture is to your liking, open your biscuits. 
I divided each one in half and pressed one half into the bottom of the muffin tin. I added a spoonful or two of tuna and sprinkled a bit of cheese then pressed the other biscuit half on top. More sprinkling of cheese.

 I repeated this with half of the biscuits, at which point I ran out of tuna. I also suspected my girls may not be as thrilled as I was with the tuna, so I decided to do the rest with turkey slices.

The rest of the prep went like this: half biscuits, press into muffin pan, add cheese and turkey slice, press remaining half on top. Sprinkle cheese. When all that was done I shook a bit of the seasoning on top of the biscuits for a bit of flavor. Into the oven!

The added ingredients increased the cook time by 5 or 6 minutes. The cook time for the biscuits alone was 6-10 minutes and I think I cooked them 15 or 16 in all.
By that time the entire kitchen smelled awesome and my girls were curious, which is always good when new foods are involved.

Pop them out of the muffin pan, and enjoy! We certainly did. They even liked the tuna version :)

CSFF Blog Tour: Beckon by Tom Pawlik

An anthropologist, a scientist, and an Indian guide go to visit an old wise man about some strange markings and a cave legend. The old man looks at them and warns them not to go into the caves, that evil lurks there.

Of course they go anyway. Beckon, by Tom Pawlik, explores what happens next in a familiar yet creepy story of monsters and would-be immortals. Reading it was a bit like watching an old episode of X-files or watching a Saturday afternoon sci-fi flick. Even though I was rarely surprised by the plot or characters, I just had to keep reading to watch the whole thing play out. Such novels are like science fiction comfort food, right down the satisfying squish of monstrous exoskeletons crunching under our hero's boots. I read it-- even in the drive thru, to the amusement of the doughnut lady. I enjoyed it. I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to spend an afternoon or two in some paranormal escapism, though if you read it too late into the night you may be checking under your bed for you know what.

That said, I felt that Pawlik misses the bigger story that lurks just in the shadows beyond what he explores on the page. Beckon examines just how far people will go to avoid death, and the horrific ways that quest can enslave them, but the author rarely slows down to let this examination hit home. We're hustled from one viewpoint to the next, one life-or-death moment for the next, a rollercoaster that makes great adrenaline reading but doesn't really create a strong bond with these characters whose lives-- and souls-- are on the line. . I did, however, find at least one of his Christian characters quite compelling and felt that her story arc was one of the most elegant of the entire book. I wished he could have explored her journey in more detail.

So, my two cents is: read this to revel in a bit of good old-fashioned man-vs-monster storytelling. Just sit back on the couch, close the blinds, and ignore the strange tapping sound at the dark end of your hall.....

To find out more about Tom Pawlik, check out his website and his blog

Or head over to Amazon and read Beckon for yourself.

If you want to hit a few other stops on the review tour, you can find more about the book at these other sites:

; Noah Arsenault
; Julie Bihn
; Thomas Clayton Booher
Thomas Fletcher Booher
; Beckie Burnham
; Brenda Castro
; Theresa Dunlap
; Nikole Hahn
; Ryan Heart
; Bruce Hennigan
; Janeen Ippolito
; Becky Jesse
; Jason Joyner
; Carol Keen
; Leighton
; Rebekah Loper
; Katie McCurdy
; Shannon McDermott
Rebecca LuElla Miller
; Nissa
; Joan Nienhuis
; Faye Oygard
; Crista Richey
; Kathleen Smith
; Jessica Thomas
; Steve Trower
; Fred Warren
; Shane Werlinger

 
The Big Fat Disclaimer: I got this book for free with the intent of reviewing it and sharing my two cents.